the wedding…i know, i know…it’s about time

I know it has been quite awhile since I posted here.  For the last couple of weeks wordpress has been messing with me.  I like to do my posts in light blue, as you can see; but for the last couple of weeks wordpress was not letting me change my font color.  Now that it is letting me use the color I want to again, I will be trying to keep up with my blogging.

Ok…the wedding.  It was not the wedding I had been hoping for or the wedding Lunatic and I had been planning on since he proposed; but it was lovely nonetheless.

After that last hospital scare of Lunatic’s, I received an email from a certain mamacita telling me that, though she would love to be able to be there for our wedding, she no longer wanted us to wait until she could be here for us to get married.  She asked what it would cost for us to get the marriage license, and when I informed her of the cost; she sent us the money for it Western Union.

Janice’s aunt was visiting on the day that mamacita said she would pay for the marriage license, and she said that she thought her minister would be willing to perform the ceremony.  She informed us that her congregation was planning an outdoor service with a picinic type buffet afterward that very Sunday and asked if we would mind getting married at that service.  She called her minister right then and made arrangements for us to meet with her and discuss the wedding.

We let chauceriangirl and izzybella know what was going on and asked them to let dad know about the wedding.  Izzybella offered to send us an AmEx gift card so we could get ourselves something nice, then she found out that I had nothing pretty to wear to my own wedding.  That is when I found out just what kind of sisters I was getting and just how much they love and welcome me into their family.  Izzybella IMed me and told me that she had gotten in touch with the manager at the Lane Bryants where I lived and that I was to go there and pick out anything I wanted, then the manager was to call her and she would put it on her credit card so I would look nice for my wedding.  My problem…I had no way to get to Lane Bryants.

Never fear, Izzyb had a solution to that.  Lunatic gave up his desktop computer, as it is faster than my laptop; and for the next three hours Izzyb an I shopped online for something for me to wear.  Though none of the places we shopped at online could ship anything to me overnight, this at least gave Izzyb some idea as to my tastes in clothes and shoes.  So, the next day, both my new sisters went on a shopping spree until they found something for me that they felt I would love and would make me feel special on my special day.  They then sent everything, including something for Lunatic to wear, overnight to me.  I got it the day before my wedding.

As soon a we get the pictures that one of the members of the congregation was nice enough to take, I will post some of them.  In the meantime I will describe the gorgeous outfit my dear sisters chose for me.  From what I was told, both chauceriangirl and izzyb had nearly given up on finding anything they thought I would like in my size, when they finally found what they felt was the perfect outfit.  They sent me a loose-fitting, cream-colored, grecian style top with a brown, gauzy, flowing full-lengh skirt.  To go with it, they found a pair of flat, gold sandals.  They didn’t stop there.  They also found some bronze/turquoise colored drop earrings with a matching necklace and a blue beaded bracelet.  They sent Lunatic a pair of black slacks and a blue pin-striped shirt that really brings out his eyes.

As if that wasn’t enough, izzyb sent us the AmEx gift card too (from her, Dad and Carol), which came in handy for getting Lunatic a new belt and me a white bra to wear under my outfit.  We also used it to buy ourselves a Chinese dinner for our wedding night.  Chauceriangirl sent me the cameo brooch that Mom had given her, telling me that until I said, “I do” it was to be my something borrowed then it was to be a welcome to the family gift.  It is a lovely brooch, but the pinback is broken on it; so I will be fixing it with some of the supplies mamacita sent me last week.

The night before my wedding, I redyed my hair bright auburn and painted both my toenails and fingernails silver.  I dug out my make-up, along with the make-up chauceriangirl sent me, and my curling iron; and had them ready for the next morning.

Janice’s aunt  had said that she would pick Lunatic and I up at 9:00 in the morning.  We have no alarm clock, so we took turns napping all night so we wouldn’t oversleep.  Lunatic woke me up at 7:40 so I could start getting ready, asking me to wake him at 8:30, as it wouldn’t take him long to get ready himself.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my hair, and trying to curl all of it with the curling iron was NOT working.  I finally decided to pull half of it into a french braid and curl the rest enough to give it some waves, then clip some colored feathers to one side.  It took me half an hour to do that and start getting dressed.

At 8:05, Janice’s aunt called to see if everyone was up and ready because she was on her way, plans had changed and we had to be ready by8:15 because we had to stop by her house and load the food into the cars.  Tanisha and Dave were supposed to have told us that the night before, but had forgotten to.  Oh well!  I was NOT being rushed on my wedding day!  I woke Lunatic up and asked him to make sure Janice and Justin were up, then I finished getting dressed.  When Janice’s aunt got here, I was putting on my make-up…she could wait!

When I was finally ready, I went downstairs to see if everyone else was ready to go.  Janice was standing up with me, so Tanisha loaned her a skirt and I loaned her a top.  She was a litte bit leery about the fact that the outfit was mostly black, but she looked quite lovely in it.  Her 13 year-old, Justin was walking me down the aisle, and he looked very nice in a pair of tan slacks and one of Lunatic’s white button-down shirts.  Dave was standing up with Lunatic and Tanisha was giving me away, but they both refused to wear anything but jeans and T-shirts.

Everyone else was ready, but Lunatic asked me to hold his can of cola while he ran back upstairs to grab the marriage license.  Janice’s aunt was holding Tanisha’s 2 year-old (hers and Janice’s grandson…long story); and she decided with me standing there holding an open can of cola behind Justin, it would be a good time to play keep away with the baby with Justin.  Justin reached for his nephew and Veva pulled him away, thus causing Justin to swing his arm back…right into the can of cola which spilled all over the front of my top.  I freaked out!!  Lunatic rushed me into the kitchen and we used a damp cloth to clean the stain out as well as we could.  The we were off to Veva’s and then to the house the service was taking place at.

The church service was short, but nice.  All the members of the congregation were very nice to us.  When it was time for the wedding ceremony, Tanisha thought it would be sweet if Christopher (her 2 year-old) helped Justin walk me down the aisle; but Veva said he was staying with his grandpa instead, even though Christopher wanted to walk with us.  Veva then called mamacita on her cellphone, mamacita put us on speakerphone so T could hear too (unfortunately they could only hear Lunatic…I don’t do well in front of crowds), and that way they were there for our wedding.

I was very nervous, not because of marrying Lunatic; but because I abhor standing up in front of a group of people I don’t know.  I’m not much better in front of people I do know.  My friend Tanis from the chatroom Lunatic and met in, told me to just look into Lunatic’s eyes and focus on him; and if that didn’t help, to imagine her running around in her underwear yelling, “Wheeeee!”.  Needless to say, I nearly cracked up while saying my vows, as I did picture her doing just that.    The ceremony was short and lovely.  In a matter of minutes, I was finally Mrs. Lunatic.  Then there was a short ending to the church services.

During the last part of the church service, the minister sent the collection plate around, saying that any donations being made by the congregation were to go to Lunatic and me so we could do something special.  Then everyone sat down to eat.  The only thing about my wedding that I regret is that I didn’t have my first dance with my new husband.  I have since found out that one of the congregation’s singers had brought a tape with him of a song for us to have our first dance to; and Veva told him not to play it because she felt it was depressing.  The song happened to be “Everything I Do (I Do It For You) by Bryan Adams and one of my favorites.

I can’t wait until we renew our vows, as we plan to do things up the way we had hoped to in the first place when we renew our vows; and Veva can’t take over the wedding when we do, as she will NOT be invited.

All in all, it was a beautiful wedding.  The weather was gorgeous, the people were nice and we did have some friends there.  However, it would have been perfect if Lunatic’s family, my brother and our closest friends could have shared the day with us.  No matter what else happened that day, on August 30, 2009; I finally married the man I love.

when peace and quiet…mostly…reign supreme

I know that my dear Lunatic has been waiting patiently to make a blog entry about our wedding until I have done so.  This is just a quick post to say that once the Morlocks have finished moving out of the basement and peace and quiet (for the most part, as there are still 2 teenage boys here) reign supreme in the house, I will post about our wedding.  In the meantime, please be patient my dear friends and family; and know that I am quite content to finally be Mrs. Lunatic

can anything else go wrong?

This can be considered a blupdate on Lunatic.  I should have done this night before last, but my mind has been elsewhere; which everyone will understand why shortly.  Thank you, Mom for reminding me to blupdate.

Anyway, Lunatic is back in the hospital and I am losing my mind from worry.  When the ambulance was called for him on Tuesday afternoon, we were not sure what was wrong with him.  He, Janice and I were sitting in our room talking when his hands began to twitch.  Next thing I knew, he had clutched his chest and keeled over.  Janice, being nearer to where he was, jumped up to check for a pulse and make sure he had not hit his head.  She found that his pulse was almost non-exsistant and he was unconscious.  He came to for a few minutes and said that his chest hurt, so we gave him a nitro before he passed out again.  At this point, Janice and I felt it would be best to just go ahead and call the ambulance.

When the paramedics arrived, we explained what had happened and gave them information on his health concerns and his prescriptions.  I was not able to go with him, due to the lack of gas in the car and money for gas; so I had to wait a little over three hours to hear anything.  They said they were keeping him for observation overnight, so he asked me to bring him some pjs and clothes.  When I spoke to him yesterday, he informed me that they still wanted to do some tests to see what was going on and were keeping him another night.  I just spoke to the nurse’s station on his floor, and I was told that he has just had a cardiac catheter done and should be in recovery from that for the next half hour or so.  As the last time he had this particular test done, he was told that he needed immediate triple bypass surgery; I am beside myself with worry.  I need him to be all right.  I have no clue as to how I am supposed to live without him.

Putting this off for a couple hours.  Talked to Lunatic.  Will continue later.

my brother finally got back in touch

I know I haven’t been keeping up on my blog like I used to.  A lot has been going on around here, making it a little difficult to concentrate on writing.  So, I have been playing Zuma and doing paid surveys online.

Thanks to Jen and her now ex-fiance, I lost the only place I had my brother’s phone number.  When we moved in with Janice, I sent him a message on Myspace, asking him to either send me a message back or to email me his phone number again.  I was starting to think he had decided, like the rest of my family, that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  Then, last week, he sent me a message back with the phone number.  He explained that he had not been to his Myspace page for a couple months and, therefore, had not seen the message.  I love you and missed you, Michael.

Things are coming to a head around here.  Everyone is fed up with Tina selling her food stamps and expecting everyone else to feed her family; as well as the fact that she shorted Janice $425 on the bills this month, and now owes her $900 since she moved in.  We have told her that we will not let her kids starve; we will not give them second helpings for any meal, but we won’t let them go hungry.  We also told her that she and Chip better find a way to feed themselves because we refuse to do it again.  This is the third month we have been expected to feed her family, and we are done with it!  If she can buy cigarettes for the two of them and beer and alcohol for Chip, then she can buy food for the household.  Everyone else chips in, she should too.  She is really ticked off because we keep telling her to keep her kids out of everyone else’s snacks and stuff, and because we put a lock on the freezer Dave brought here (where we keep all the meat).  Oh well!  Feed your own family, you lazy witch!

For those of you who know what was going on with Lunatic, he is doing much better.  The continuing problems with Chip and Tina are ticking him off, but he dealing with things better now.  He is going to try again to quit smoking.  Janice was given a prescription for the stop smoking patches, and found out she is allergic to them due to the adhesive; so she is giving them to Lunatic to help him quit.

Chip and Tina, as well as Jerry Sue and Troy have put locks on the doors to their rooms; even though they are the ones stealing from others.  Janice has told them that the landlord has informed her that she is to have a key to every lock in the house, and she is supposed to make copies of each key for the landlord as well.  So far, Jerry Sue has told her no about giving her a key to their room, and Chip and Tina have ignored her request.  Dave plans to tell them today that they have 48 hours to give Janice a copy of their keys or he will break into the rooms and remove the locks himself.  As Janice is the main lease-holder and the only other people on the lease at this time are her sons, he daughter, Dave and her grandson; she has a right to have copies of every key to every door in this house, and no one can do a damned thing about it!  Lunatic and I were thinking of putting a lock on our door, and we were going to give Janice a key or the combination if we had done so.

Tanisha has gotten to the point where she is so tired of Tina’s mouth running constantly about how Tina is the only one that does anything around this house, that she finally told her that I do more than she does and she needs to shut up.  I love Tanisha, she is a sweetie.

I guess that is about it for now.  Have a great day everyone.

finally got to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!!

I know I have not been keeping up on my blog posts, but a lot has been going on; and I have been trying not to come here just to bitch!  I have been playing zuma instead, just to try to keep from losing my mind.  As I lost my mind years ago, it hasn’t helped much. 

Anyway, I finally was able to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.  As Lunatic and I can’t afford to go to the theater at the moment, I had to find a way to watch it online.  Lucky for me, watchmovies.com had it (as well as all the Harry Potter movies).  I had to watch it in 2 parts, and my computer froze up a couple of times; but the picture quality wasn’t bad and I was able to watch the movie without too much hassle.

OMG!!!!  It was awesome!!!  I was laughing and crying throughout the movie, occasionally at the same time.  I want to own this movie sooooo badly.  Even though I knew he was going to be all right, my heart nearly stopped when Ron was poisoned!  I laughed until I cried when Lavender ran from the hospital wing after Ron called out Hermione’s name.  Served her right, the insufferable twit!!

I felt so sorry for Draco, and think that Tom Felton did a wonderful job in this movie.  I cried at the end, I knew I would.  I cry every time I read the book too.  I WANT MY BOOKS BACK!!!  Sorry, just a bit of a rant.  I have loved all of the movies, and I feel that each one gets a little better…and darker.  I don’t recall the Burrows being burned down in the book, but thought that it was an interesting addition to the story.

I can’t wait until the final movie comes out!!!  I read tat J.K. Rowling actually might continue the story in more books…she wants to see what happens next as much as all the H arry Potter fans.  I hope she does write more.  Even though anyone who has read all of the books knows what happens in the distant future for Harry, Ron and Hermione; it would be nice to see how they got there.

I hope to be in Texas when the next movie comes out, so that hopefully I can go see it with my soon to be sisters-in-law.  I love that we all are such major Harry Potter fans!!

Well, that is al for now.  Good night and sweet dreams everyone.  I will try to keep up on my posts better from now on. 

Computer thief speaks

While I am pretty sure I know how my sister got my blog link, I am still trying to figure out why she decided to all of a sudden comment on anything I posted here.  After all, when I saw that she was on yahoo messenger the other day and sent her an IM to thank her for telling Kelli how to get in contact with me; she responded with a very snotty message telling me that she had told Kelli NOT to contact me.  She went on to say that she had told Kelli that I act like I am still in high school and all I do is use people.

As I had been trying to reach out and mend fences with my only sister, and my twin sister at that; her comment hurt me.  My Lunatic does not like seeing me hurting like that, so he took it upon himself to send my sister an email, asking how she can treat me the way she does, even when I am reaching out to her.  She sent him an email back telling him that our problems are none of his business and going off on him for butting in.  He kept trying, until she completely pissed him off with her last email.  She told him that all I do is think of myself and use people and that I haven’t tried to ontact her since Grammy’s funeral and he needs to mind his own business.  He told her he was done with trying to help and stopped emailing her.

What gets me is that she said that I hadn’t tried to get in touch with her since the funeral and that she had no idea how to contact me.  First of all, as the last thing she said to me on the phone was that Grammy hadn’t wanted me around anymore anyway and that I was nuts if I expected her to give me a ride to the funeral; why would I have tried to contact her again?  She had given me no reason to want to talk to her any time soon.  As for her not knowing how to contact me; well until February of 2009 I never moved from the address she picked me up from to go visit Grammy in the hospital, and she knew Lunatic’s cellphone number.  So, how could she not know how to contact me all that time?

I don’t understand my sister.  I keep trying to reach out to her, and she just keeps slapping my outreached hand away.  It hurts every time, but I will continue to do so, as she is my twin and we are supposed to be closer than other siblings.  We were very close at one time, then she somehow got her head stuck up her ass and from then on has acted like everything I do is wrong.  I think she needs to see a protologist as soon as possible, because having her head stuck up there for so long has to have become rather painful.

Oh well, I love my sister no matter what; even if I can’t stand her at times.

Have a good one everyone.  Sweet dreams.

One Hundred and seven hours

making it folks!  I have selected a small reward for the first hundred hours.  The money I saved on cigarettes will be spent on a game that will give me no end of pleasure and relaxation.

Keep you updated as it progresses!

Well, I found someone i was looking for

Or should I say that she found me.  No, it was not Jasmine; but it was almost as good.  Thanks in part to my sister telling her how to find me on myspace, my very best friend ever got back in touch after 12 years.  I have missed her so much.  Kelli was my rock for nearly 10 years and then due to extenuating cicumstances that I cannot go into without her permission; we lost contact with each other.  When I lost Kelli from my life, it was like losing a part of myself.  She was my sister in my heart even if we weren’t blood related.  The only thing that hurt worse than losing Kelli from my life was losing my girls.

Kelli called me yesterday, and we had one of our marathon gab sessions.  It was like no time had passed.  God how I have missed talking on the phone with her!!  She, like myself, has had to go through some rough patches.  I wish I could have been there to help her through them.  She said she wished we had found each other sooner, like around the time I was losing my girls.  Even though she was going through a divorce at the time, she said she would have taken my girls in a heartbeat, and I know she means it.  She adored the girls!

It is funny the way we had our children.  I had my first and 14 months later she had her first.  She had her second and 14 months later I had my second.  I have just learned that she has 2 more children, and again I had my third child and 14 months later she had her third.  The only difference is that i never had a fourth child, but she did.  Unlike me, she never gave any of her children up for adoption either.  I miss my son, but I know what I did was the best thing for all of my children.

Kelli spoke to Lunatic on the phone, and says that she thinks I picked a good man this time.  They discussed her and her family coming to visit when we finally move to Texas.  I would love for her to come see us here first.  Janice says that it okay with her, as she sees how happy getting back in touch with Kelli has made me.  I love her to death and have missed her these past years with all my heart.  I hope she knows just how much I love her.

Even though my family doesn’t want me, I have Kelli, Lunatic’s family, my brother, Kat, DJ, Jessica, Janice and her boys, and Lunatic.  Once I find my girls, my family will be complete as far as I am concerned.  I don’t need people who judge me and treat me badly.  I have so many people who love me for who I am, warts and all.  That’s all I need.

Kelli, I know you will be reading this, as you said you have read some of my blog already.  I want you to know that you have always been a sister to me, and I never stopped thinking of you as my best friend in the whole world.  I am glad you found someone who loves you unconditionally, you deserve it.  You are a beautiful person inside and out.  Though I am a bit ticked off that you haven’t changed in the least since high school and I went up 5 or 6 sizes.  But, I am working on at least getting down to a size 16.  I know there is NO WAY I will ever get back down to a size 12.  I want to see you in person again so bad.  If you come visit me, I will buy you White Castles!!  LOL 

My mom really got you hooked on those things.  Lunatic doesn’t like them, they give him gas; but I loved having a White Castle a mile away when he and I lived in Wayne, Michigan.  The restaurant was combined with a Church’s, so he would get spicy chicken and I would get my sliders.  Anyway, I would just really like to see you again.  I have missed you so.

Good night and sweet dreams everyone.

pulling my hair out!!!

For some reason, Janice’s landlord included in the lease that every six months she is able to come to the house and inspect it inside and out for damages and whether or not it is being kept clean.  If she feels that there is any damage being done or that it is not being kept clean enough for her taste, she can evict everyone living here.  I don’t understand this, as with kids living here it is hard to keep it clean all the time; and with kids there will sometimes be accidents that may cause damage.

I have never before lived anywhere that the landlord had the right to do this.  Everywhere I have lived, the landlord did a walkthrough inspection when I moved in and again when I moved out.  If there was any damage that was not reported or repaired by the time I moved out, I was liable for it; but the only way I could be evicted is for non-payment of rent or willful destruction of the property.

Anyway, the landlord came over last Friday and informed Janice that she would be back on July 1 for the inspection and that if the yard and house weren’t cleaned, the yard wasn’t mowed and the railing on the back deck weren’t repaired anyone living here would be evicted.  She also complained about the fact that the mailbox had been knocked off of its post.  The mailbox and the posts on the railing of the back deck were knocked off by neighborhood kids in the middle of the night, who also like to bully the dog (Benny) and put snakes in the mailbox.

Except for Chip and most of the kids, we all started doing some cleaning that day and got more done on Saturday.  Saturday, Lunatic was working on picking up the trash in the yard.  Because of the heat, so that he wasn’t doing it by himself, Courtney was asked to go out and help him.  I was working on the office and our room, so I couldn’t help him.  Courtney did not do much to help, and Lunatic wound up doing it by himself and overdoing it.  Janice also overdid it and wound up in the emergency room on Sunday because she passed out, hit her head and gave herself a concussion.

We all decided that we would relax on Monday because of so few people here being willing to do much to help.  Tigger for one told his mom, Tina and I that it was on us to get the place cleaned.  Piglet has been helping whereever he can when asked.  Since he got back on his meds, he has been calmer and more helpful.  Tuesday, he helped Lunatic work on the yard some more (even though he was hurting badly from a third degree sunburn on both shoulders).  While the two of them were working on the yard, I was busy, busy , busy in the house.

I should probably say that the first thing that Piglet did to help Lunatic was to go to his doctor’s appointment with him, as I couldn’t because there was still too much to be done in the house.  Janice was on bed rest because of her concussion and Jerry Sue was at work, so that left me and Tina to work on the cleaning.  I did the dishes then went upstairs to surprise Lunatic by finishing the office.  This included cleaning and organizing his desk, inside and out.  I kept having to take breaks to discuss with Tina what needed to be done and who was going to do it, as well as to do any more dishes that found there way to the kitchen (Lunatic had acollection of dirty dishes on his desk, for one thing).  I think I did dishes 6 times on Tuesday.

Tina and I agreed that we would ask Courtney to clean the fronts of the lower cupboards in the kitchen, as it is much easier for her to get back up off the floor than either of us.  To our surprise, Courtney agreed to do it when we were finished with the sweeping and mopping.  Tina had to run out and pick up a few things, so I told her when I was done in the office I would sweep the second floor, down the stairs and all three rooms on the first floor if she would mop when she got home.  She agreed.

I finished the office, recleaned our room, sorted our laundry and put the hampers in our closet then went to get the broom.  I did all the sweeping, as well as the dishes I mentioned earlier.  Tina got home and went to take a nap, saying she would mop after the kids were in bed.  Jerry Sue and Gurgi 2 got home from work.  He went o bed; and after saying she would mop when she got up in the morning, so did she.  Tina came back up, and said she would do the mopping the next morning, then she ate and went to bed.

I was exhausted, so I vegged in front of the TV for awhile then went to bed too.  Well, I tried to anyway.  Lunatic wasn’t feeling well, so I stayed up to keep an I on him for as late as I could.  Piglet even stayed up to help me with him.  Finally getting to sleep after 4 in the morning, I didn’t get up until almost 11 a.m.  The mopping hadn’t been done and the living room and dining room needed to be swept again.

Courtney, having received an invite to a ballgame Tuesday night hadn’t gotten a chance to clean the cupboards, but said she would do them Wednesday, and she did.  Janice, Tina and Tigger went grocery shopping with Janice’s sister June, after telling us the landlord would be here at 4 p.m.  We still had a lot to do, mainly because half the household refused to help so far.

Piglet and Lunatic went back out to work on the yard again, until Piglet’s shoulders started to hurt him too much.  When he went inside, Lunatic worked by himself for a little while, then enlisted the help of Chip and the little boys to police the yard for trash and cigarette butts.  I asked Courtney to sweep the first floor so that I could then mop before doing the dishes.  I carried Janice’s and the kids laundry to the basement, helped outside some and then began to mop.  As I finished the living room, Courtney asked if I would like her to mop the dining room and kitchen for me.  I was surprised, but jumped at the offer.  While she was doing that, I decided to grab some rubber gloves and tackle the upstairs bathroom.  Courtny actually grabbed the other pair and got down and scrubbed the floors before mopping them…without being asked.  Her brothers even helped.

By 4 in the afternoon, we had the house as shipshape as we were going to get; including having all the groceries put away.  The landlord NEVER showed.  She called to say she would be here the next day (today).  Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, she did show up; but just long enough to get the rent, and after saying she would do the inspection today instead of yesterday.

Anyway, I am exhaustifried; so I am going to bed now.  Sweet dreams everyone.

for Jasmine’s 18th birthday

I know that is actually 2 hours into the day after your birthday, sweetie.  I meant to get this post in much earlier, but some stuff came up that had to be done if Lunatic and I (along with everyone else here) wanted to keep a roof over our heads.  I just finished cleaning and organizing the office, as well as helping to clean the rest of the house.  So, this is the first chance I’ve had to get online since I woke up yesterday morning.

Anyway, I don’t know if you will see this; but I want you to know that I am thinking about you and I miss you with all my heart.  I hate that I have missed out on so much of your life.  I tried to appeal the court’s decision, but was told that my request for an appeal was untimely (even though I got my request in with a week to spare before the cut off date). 

Happy birthday Jasmine.  Always remember that I have never stopped loving you and Robin.  You are my babies and you always will be.  You are always in my thoughts and in my heart.  No matter what happened and what the state of Michigan says, you always were and always will be my daughters.  I am proud to be your mother.  I was always proud of you, and am sure I will always have reason to be proud of you in the future.  I hope you haven’t forgotten me, as I have never forgotten you and Robin.  I hope we can be together again soon.

Love,

Mom